one of the biggest decisions i have had to make in preparing for married life is whether to keep my maiden name or become a “mrs”. having been a “harrison” my whole life, and feeling such gratitude for what membership within that family has meant for me, it almost felt like a betrayal to consider becoming caitlin mcguire.
these days, it seems just as common for women to keep their maiden name as it is for them to change it. other options have been adopted, too… i know of one couple that created a new last name to share after marriage. sometimes the choice seems obvious – for example, my best friend’s maiden name is kool, and her husband’s last name is monkman. you can imagine that her decision to stay “kool” didn’t take long to make.
in my case, i think “mcguire” is on par with “harrison”. my husband-to-be (i’ve yet to warm to fiance) was completely respectful, but he did tell me that, while i could do whatever i wished, his preference would be for me to take his last name. i knew i would need to be darn sure i wanted to make the switch before giving him any hint that i was leaning towards doing so. you can’t take a decision like that back without some hurt feelings.
after mulling it over quietly to myself for a few months, i came to a decision that felt very clear: i want to be mrs. mcguire. partly, the decision is motivated by my interest in sparing future children from the curse of the hyphen. mostly, i came to the conclusion based on my interest in demonstrating my love for and investment in christopher john mcguire, and my wholehearted desire to create a shared life with him. in my mind, taking his name is one of the most powerful gestures i can make.
i’m aware that my approach could be seen as anti-feminist, but i would argue that naming conventions such as maiden vs. married names are as old as civilisation and exist for a reason. at the end of the day, it’s a personal choice and i’m convinced there are no wrong options. if, however, your maiden name is kool, that’s a no-brainer.
rose-coloured lenses 